A wasted pinnacle
This record was written four days after we met, and I made peace with it.
At first glance, seeing her in person, she’s a very pretty girl. I’d say. Tan skin, toned body, strong facial features, nice smile, good mannerisms — everything seemed perfect.
She’s the depiction of my kind of woman — a goddess in my head. She talks brazenly and has a nice sense of humor. She’s everything I wished for, except for the touchy part.
It’s not that I don’t like it. I was just completely unprepared, but whatever. It’s her, all I can remember. Every man would fall over heels towards her just to see her in person.
Our meeting, it was a spur at the moment. We decided to have a quick bite. I don’t know if ramen counts as a quick and a bite, but our date meeting was relatively short.
We talked about everything. Some small talks and then some topics on how and why we decided to exist in this world.
As far as I recall, she ordered spicy ramen. I didn’t know if she liked spicy food. I didn’t ask. Maybe that’s the first mistake I made. While mine, my order was the salty one.
We could’ve talked about ramen, but my stupid and complicated brain only likes complex and exciting things to the point of discomfort. So, every question that slurred out of my mouth sounded like some interrogation from the federal officers.
However, the ramens were good. Well, we dined at a well-known chain in the town, so they ought to be good, right?
Stupid things number two. She ended up paying for our meal. In my defense, I was already ready to pay for us, but when the check came to my hand, I heard her say something, so I gave it to her. I gave it to her in case she wanted to check that all the orders were right and that there was no overbilling for our meals. Then, she just stood up and went to the cashier.
Dumb enough, I just sat at my place, doing nothing. Dumbfounded, unfazed. Should’ve run towards her, but I didn’t want to make a scene. Well, shit happens, right? I did the least I could do. I tried to make it right. I asked her how much I owed her, but she said we could talk about it later. Well, mistakes were made, and I still own them to this day.
On our way home, by home, I mean I took her to her friend’s place. We continued our fun talks. We had a good laugh. We talked about birth signs, Chinese zodiacs, feng shui, and all things in life. I’d say those things sounded cute to talk about.
Not long after that, we arrived, and she said, “Let’s meet in Jakarta later!” I must stress that she said it with enthusiasm. I thought it was a good encounter. I thought she enjoyed our date quite nicely. Well, I thought wrong.
After I got back to my place, um, Panduan’s place, I texted her. I told her everything was nice and wished her well for her activities the day after. Sadly, I got no reply, not until four days after the meeting.
She explained that she was busy with everything, like work, life in general, and perhaps her plans to study abroad. She also told me that the food was her treat and that if I wanted to pay her back, I should pay it forward to others. What a considerate thing for her to say, right?
Well, that’s when I realized that I left a bad impression on her. To this day, I still don’t know how to move forward after my experience with her. All I can do is hope that she’s safe wherever she is right now.
The brutal realization kicked in. I just had to get over her. Maybe I did wrong, maybe I didn’t. Who knows? Life is weird and funny.
Maybe we’ll meet again, or maybe not, but if you ask me, truly, I miss her, and I want to see her again. For starters, I want to apologize and set things straight so there’s no misunderstanding, and we can start anew.
Ugh, this record got too long, to be fair. That’s fine, I guess. I was talking about a goddess, after all.
